A great part of our new partner affects us whenever we begin a fresh relationship. The way this happens depends on both our and our partner’s past – for example, a relationship with somebody who’s in their 20s is always energizing and packed with vitality, dating a widower usually carries a considerable amount of “baggage” with it.
We wanted to bring this matter closer to our readers, so we contacted Kate. She has met a person on a widowers dating site and managed to have an completely healthy relationship with him despite all the obstacles.
In the Beginning…
She begins: “Everything began on the web. I was an online dater for a long time before I chose to experiment with some niche dating websites. I enrolled on biker, Christian, disabled and even metal dating sites. I don’t have any preferences towards anyone, which is the reason I don’t see these things as strange or bizarre.”
“One of the services I made an account on was intended for widows and widowers,” Kate proceeds. “I always trusted that regardless of the possibility that you were happily married and your companion passed away, despite everything you should be happy with another person eventually later on. This was my motto all along.”
“It wasn’t long before Sebastian came up as a recommended match for me. I looked at his profile and saw that he lost his better half a couple of years back and that he is modest and contemplative yet wants to give love another chance. It sounded plausible on paper, yet I was hesitant to contact him straight away.”
She adds: “Something was keeping me down. It isn’t that hard to initiate contact with somebody on a dating site, yet at the same time, I couldn’t get myself to it. Many questions were racing through my head for quite a long time, but then something unforeseen happened.”
An Unexpected Turn
“It was him who actually sent the first message. I opened it and read this: ‘Hello! I saw you in my recommended contacts and figured I have nothing to lose by sending you a message. I don’t usually make the fist move, yet I believe it’s about time I started changing my habits.’ My heart skipped a beat, however I forced myself to answer to this message.”
Kate says: “We were chatting until the point when I raised the topic of meeting face to face. He wasn’t eager to accept my offer, however he ultimately agreed that it was the best idea right then and there. After a couple dates, we became exclusive, but that didn’t mean that we got the hard part out of the way.”
“Once a widower, always a widower. There’s always some part of him that laments for his late significant other no matter how happy he might seem. In Sebastian’s case, his wife passed away after 15 years of marriage and a two-year-long battle with cancer. It was an intense time for everybody and it made a great impact on him.”
“In any case,” she adds, “Sebastian and I made it work. Alongside him, I learned that even the individuals who have lost the most can bring themselves up again and proceed onward with their lives. If you have enough empathy, you don’t have to through hell just so that you can learn how intense life can be.”