If you are dating a widower you will need to develop a thick skin and improve your self esteem. You will always be threatened by his late wife and their love. Keep in mind that constantly wanting reassurance that you are the most important person in his life can come off as needy. Instead of trying to compete with a memory, try to understand him better and give him space when needed. In time you will learn how to deal with certain situations.
Every person grieves differently
There is no grief formula that will help you calculate how long will your man feel the void his wife left. Some people grieve several months, others several years. Don’t assume how long it will take him to get better. Be sensitive and don’t force him to do anything. Respect his feelings and be there for him when he needs you.
Don’t be jealous
Widows and widowers dating requires patience and sensitivity. Give him time to grieve as long as possible. Sometimes you will feel jealous of his late wife, but keep in mind that your patience will be rewarded. Some days will be good, some days won’t. Let him know that he can talk to you about her when he feels the need. Sometimes he will feel the need to be alone. Respect his decision and let him be.
Let his actions speak
Focus more on what he does, rather than on what he says. He might say he loves you and that you are the only woman for him, but if her pictures and things are all over his house, he is still not over her. If you have been dating for a while and her stuff isn’t going anywhere, let him know that it bothers you. If he still isn’t doing anything about it, maybe he isn’t at all ready to start over.
There is enough room for you both
She was a huge part of his life and you have to accept that. However, he can still commit to you completely while retaining treasured memories. Widower dating is not at all daunting as it sounds. In fact, many young widowers have successful second marriages. In the end, everyone has emotional baggage, some suitcases are just larger than others.